June 2012
The Survivor Mud Run
So my friend and I are doing the Mud Run this Saturday. Word on the street is that we will be dressing up as Captain America and Thor. My friend is 5’11”. I am 5’4”. I will be the tiniest Thor of all time and it will be awesome. Now to figure out how to make one of those fancy winged helmets. (I may or may not have already purchased a small child’s Thor hammer prop.)
I am Thor, son of Odin. Oh piteous ditches of dank earth, prepare to meet thy doom.
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
May 2012
So I told myself I couldn’t buy another book for me until I finish the five I’ve already purchased and started. My solution, I’ve started buying children’s stories for all my nieces and nephew…I swear I have an addiction to bookstores.
“Out, out brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more.”
—Macbeth
Army of Darkness
Is on tv right now. Thank you Jesus for Bruce Campbell and B movies of the 90s.
When you almost slip but you luckily regain your balance...
